Truly Unruly with Marcus & Jessica Trufant

I found out my Dad isn’t my biological Father | Truly Unruly Podcast

• Marcus Trufant

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0:00 | 34:53

A 23andMe test turns one listener's world upside down — she discovers the man who raised her isn't her biological father. Marcus and Jessica unpack the betrayal, the secrets moms keep, and what it really means to "close the loop." Plus: a wild detour into divorce history, second families, and growing up Catholic with a one-way ticket to hell.


Truly Unruly with Marcus & Jessica Trufant — real talk, unfiltered.

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SPEAKER_05

You're listening to Truly Unruly with Marcus and Jessica Truffant. What's up, y'all? Welcome to Truly Unruly with Marcus and Jessica Truffant. My name is Kel. What did you do?

SPEAKER_01

I'm just gonna back this mic up. I said hey and echoed the gross.

SPEAKER_05

You messed up my intro. Dang. Well, that's Marcus. What's up? What's up? What's up? And that is Jessica.

SPEAKER_01

Hey.

SPEAKER_05

What's up, y'all? All right. We got uh we got an interesting email. It's a little deep, but um I we'll just try to navigate our way through it, I guess. So I'm gonna turn it to you guys and uh give your your your best advice. Here we go.

SPEAKER_04

We're here to help. Yes, we are.

SPEAKER_05

This was this this this was the the the the line that got me. I found out my dad isn't my biological father. Here we go. So I've been carrying something that has completely turned my life upside down, and I don't know where to go from here. I'm an adult, and a few weeks ago I took a 23andMe DNA test just for fun. Instead, I discovered the man I've called my dad my entire life isn't my biological father. I was able to find and confirm who my biological father is, but now I'm left with so many questions. The biggest one is whether the man who raised me even knows I'm not his daughter. And honestly, I don't know if he's been lied to all these years too. The more I think about it, the more I believe my mom knew the truth the entire time. Looking back, I was always treated differently than my brothers and sisters, and now I can't stop wondering if this is why. I feel hurt, angry, and betrayed, but I don't want to make things worse. I know I need to confront my mom, but I have no idea how to do it without blowing up my entire family. How would you guys handle this? Do I deserve answers or should I just leave the past alone? Thanks.

SPEAKER_01

What do you think? Wow. Well, I don't know, your past directly influences your present your present state. So maybe it's something that you should um explore about it possibly that her mom possibly might know that the biological dad or that the stepdad, I guess you would call him. Well, her dad might not be her dad, and if her mom knew about it, the scandal, that's some fucking diabolical shit. And so but why?

SPEAKER_00

And when she said she was treated differently, what does that mean?

unknown

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

I wonder if it was from the mom or from the dad, but if the dad knew, then maybe you do get treated differently. But right, so this is a she, right, Kale? A she?

SPEAKER_05

You know what? It doesn't say, but like how it this is written, it does sound like this was written by a woman.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we assumed it was I assumed it was a woman too for some reason. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it it doesn't matter, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

No, it don't matter. My take is uh man, yeah, tough and does rock your world, but um I don't know how old this young lady or fella is, but what do you do, right? And did you have a terrible upbringing? Um, I don't know if it really matters, but you're here now, right? So what do you do from here? And maybe this is why she sent in the email, but it matters, but it doesn't matter, right? You gotta continue to move forward and you got decisions to make if you want to uh bridge those gaps, right? And it can't be. So then it matters. Well, if she wants it to matter, right? If she's doing okay and she felt like she had an okay childhood and the father was good to her.

SPEAKER_01

Something like she might not have. She was treated differently.

SPEAKER_04

She says she was treated differently, but I'm not like I'm not sure what that means. If she was taken care of and things were okay, and like I don't know. I don't know what treated differently.

SPEAKER_01

It can mean many things means, right?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that can mean many things. So I don't know. It could have been worse if you had the dad. I don't know. So that's why I say like it matters, yeah. It rocks your world as one of those things that you really have to look back and be like, damn, okay, I really didn't know, but you had a father figure that was there, though. You weren't left without, right? So now you can be like, okay, this is my biological and all that kind of stuff, and go through those um type of conversations, but it's one of those things that you have to get over and you can't let it eat you up, right? And if she's doing okay and she's got her shit together, then she could pat herself on the back.

SPEAKER_01

Um I beg to differ. So she is taking the steps to uh get her DNA tested.

SPEAKER_04

Which we don't know if all that is actual and factual. I thought I just heard of something that came out that said that all that stuff was uh it's a grand guesstimate, possibly, or just fake in general, right? Um but we won't talk about that.

SPEAKER_01

I don't well, my thing is when you're connecting with distant relatives and it's proven that they are really your relatives. I don't know how we're all there's possibly things that are. I mean, come on now. There was a lot of things. There's a lot of shit that's fake. There's a lot of shit that has fake sprinkled all in it. Just like this young lady's dad. But there is some accuracy in it. So, anyways, she takes the steps to find, I don't know, to explore her lineage and finds out that she might that she has a different father. Um or mom.

SPEAKER_00

Guess what?

SPEAKER_01

I am on 23 and me. I just got my results back. This shit isn't true anyway, right? Because it just said that so-and-so is my biological dad. Explain, tell me it's lying. That's all you have to do. You don't, you're not blowing up the whole family system. You you inquired about something and you got an answer. And about you saying she needs to let it go. I do not believe in open loops. I'm a closed loop person. I need things to have meaning and attach meaning to it so I can release it. And so that is an open loop.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I guess it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01

And when you're trying to complete yourself, close the loop.

SPEAKER_04

When I say let it go, don't let it crush you, especially if you're doing well now, is what I'm saying. You get the information and you do ask these questions. But if you're doing okay and you made it this far, and your dad or your so-called dad was pretty good to you, then like, okay, that's that's an okay thing, right? And yeah, there were some secrets and stuff like that, and you gotta work through that. I get it, but all I was trying to say is don't let that maybe change that relationship you had with your fake dad, especially if he didn't know. And even if he didn't know, he took you in and he treated you like his own, right? And I think you gotta respect that, right?

SPEAKER_01

But it might not really be about that.

SPEAKER_04

That's what I'm saying. So it's just I was just kind of touching on that. Is that I get what you're saying about the open loop and you need the information, that makes sense. So I don't want to sound insensitive by saying just get over it. That's not really what I meant. But don't let that stop you and change the progress that you've made.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think she's saying it was. Or this person was saying, why do I keep saying this person uh was saying it was? This person is really focused on who the fuck did it, right?

SPEAKER_04

But we gotta get to mom. Who's guilty? We gotta get to mom. We can't let mom slide, and that's like, and I know it happens every day, all the time. We've seen enough Maury shows to know that uh the things happen, right? But I think there's something to honesty and being truthful in that type of situation.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_04

Eventually. Um I don't know whether you say you do it then or you do it when the kids of a certain age, or what's the or you reach out to the dad yourself and find out. But I'm saying from the mom's perspective, what's her responsibility if she knows that this isn't the responsibility is to tell the fucking truth.

SPEAKER_01

Like what the fuck? You have a grown child to continue to hold a a narrative that doesn't fit anymore is fucking weird, and that's for your protection. Free her, release her, tell her the truth, even if you're torched for it. It is what it is. There's consequences for decisions.

SPEAKER_04

Man, I tell you, these women fault.

SPEAKER_05

I think part of this too, we have to keep in mind is I I I feel like this person is coming from a place where mentally they probably feel a little betrayed, or a little now, like, hey, okay. The stepdad or the the the the the adopted dad took care of you, whatever, whatever. That's great. And if they do have a good relationship, he or she knows at the end of the day that will always be their dad because you know he held it down. But there's the other part where you're like, who the hell am I? I don't even know who the hell the other half of me is now because other persons done showed up telling me that I have some 90 to 80 some percent blood match, right? On 23andMe. So now you're wondering, like, I have this whole other family that I don't even know about. I don't even know this person. Um, this person, for all we know, might have some kind of health issues, don't know where they come from, because now you have this, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's a there's there's a lot to it, and there's a lot, I feel like, to unpack where I could see where, oh, real quick, the whole thing of being treated different. What I take away from that is he or she was probably treated like the redhead stepchild. That you know what I'm saying? You don't say, oh, well, and and have core memory as an adult to say, well, you know what, I do remember always being treated different. That means some some unfair, some fucked up shit probably have happened. If you have a core memory as an adult that you remember during my upbringing, I was obviously treated different from everyone else, right?

SPEAKER_04

And if that's the case, I feel like everybody else had to know then, except for this person, because you're not gonna treat a person differently just cuz right.

SPEAKER_01

Somebody has to have prior knowledge, right?

SPEAKER_04

Someone has to be privy, that had to be mom and dad, or maybe just mom, I don't know, right?

SPEAKER_01

Please treat it differently, like uh like my voice memo said. I was been treated like the redheaded stepchild my whole fucking life. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

SPEAKER_05

I think the mom might have been privy to something because I mean if someone, if if if someone is actually coming out saying that they were treated different, I think there might have been the atimosity of like, oh yeah, that's his kid.

SPEAKER_04

Right. You know, she hated the dad, right? Sometimes it's passing off that energy.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes, and then you know what? If the daughter processes that deeply, she'll have to reckon with that, too.

SPEAKER_04

The mom.

SPEAKER_01

Because that's the truth that you know, and the mom, that's why you don't want to admit it. You don't wanna you don't want to say those things, you don't have to wanna have to admit that you accepted or that you uh had these feelings and then acted because of the feelings. It's like that the innocent child did not was not privy to and aware of. So you know what? Some things happen for a reason.

SPEAKER_05

So Yeah. What do you what do you think you guys what do you guys think should should should should happen with the mom?

SPEAKER_04

I mean I think the mom should um she needs to be well, she doesn't have to, but it would be good for her to sit this person down and kind of give some background and kind of go through everything. And then if the person wants to reach out to the biological father, then they should do that. But the mom, I believe, has a a duty to um give some information and give some background and help this child that's now an adult uh through this process. If she's doing it right, I feel like it's nasty work if you're just gonna Well, I was gonna say, is she healed?

SPEAKER_01

Is she She's probably not? Is she ready? Because she's still got a duty. She's not gonna receive it well.

SPEAKER_04

She still has a duty, and it's not about her.

SPEAKER_01

But people who are having worked on themselves, it is about them until they realize it's not.

SPEAKER_04

Get over it and I mean be in the moment and lay in it. And you made that bed, right?

SPEAKER_01

Right. But that's hard.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, I have a question for you guys. Why and this might be very vague, but why do people do shit like this? When you know one day your child is gonna be an adult, and we live in the world of fucking technology, gets better every five to ten years. Lord knows what's gonna come out the next five to ten, twenty after this. And the mom just think like, oh, you know what, she'll just never find out, like you'll or he or she will never find out, they'll never know, and just go through your whole life carrying that. Like, because I feel like that's a shitty person. Like, if I knew shitty people. No, you're right, but like, you know, like if I if if let's say as a if I was a mother and I knew that my kid had a different dad, like I'm not gonna go through my kids' whole life, them not knowing that, and then me carrying that. Like, I thought you have to be a narcissist and a really shitty person to carry something like that.

SPEAKER_01

Or carry it to your grave to whatever yourself and to escape having to do. That's what I was gonna say the fucking feeling. Self-pres uh preservation denial or self-preservation is she might have thought about it, but she's still like it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_04

I'll do it later, I'll do it later, I'll do it later. Right, eventually I'll get to it, and it's easier, it's just easier not to do it, right? Right, and so maybe she knew eventually she was going to this person was going to find out, but again, it that doesn't mean that the mom is gonna respond in a way that is you lie so much you start to believe the lie, and she tells herself that oh no, right, yeah, you lie to yourself so much, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Then it's that bullshit where it's like, well, I did it because I did it to protect you from what?

SPEAKER_01

Don't ever let somebody use that lame fucking having to face the music, it was to protect me protecting them from you themselves, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It was to protect me from you, but you know, it's so much of this that goes on though. There's like and um I don't know the exact situation, and we don't have all the details of how that how it played out and the timing and all that, but if you're willing to deceive your child, right? If you're re if you're willing to deceive the man as well, right? Because we don't know if the dad was in on it or not. Um, like I said, we've seen enough uh it could be a devil win. That's what I'm saying. So Murray.

SPEAKER_05

It's like I think that's the reason why she ain't said, and the mama ain't never said nothing. I think that's what I'm saying. I think she was lying to that man too. That is extra if if you if think about it, like it's normal.

SPEAKER_04

If it's it's not diabolical, that's that's like normal.

SPEAKER_00

You see it on you see it.

SPEAKER_04

A normal thing. And I know us men get painted in a lot of different ways, and but but that is a normal thing. It happens all the time.

SPEAKER_05

What's wild with this 23 in me is in my own life, I have known people now that have found family members, they have found siblings, like especially like boomers. If you know any boomers, my yes, my boomers. Like I know a gang of boomers who's like, yeah, man. Found a sister. We just found out we have another sister and another brother, and it's like once a year they're finding a new family member. And I'm like, this was the era. I mean, but think about this was the time when dad had a second family and he went across town. When mama wasn't acting right and wasn't giving up, giving it up. He was going to the lady across town in the Moo Moo and was having kids with her.

SPEAKER_04

Not even that. I'm not gonna give us the excuse, it was just a thing that we did because we could at that time. Exactly it wasn't even about the mama, it was just because we wanted more, women weren't cracking the fuck down yet. We wanted more.

SPEAKER_01

So and expecting more.

SPEAKER_04

We're not gonna talk about today's women, though. You're talking about cracking down yet, but it was just a different time, and the women were more I'm gonna be here for the kids type of situation, right? I think back in those days, I'm gonna do the family, I'm gonna do all that.

SPEAKER_01

It was I don't know. As you can see, things change back then. You could go have a second family, but family is so technology. We so need family. Family, you know, it's like oh, stick it, and it's like man, and pops took care of both families, though. So one family, one family.

SPEAKER_05

I listen, I swear to God, I am convinced that my grandmother on my dad's side, her father, my great-grandfather, I swear to God he had another family. Here's the reason why. Never I used to ask my grandma, I used to when I finally reconnected with them, and I was like, tell me about like your childhood and like your parents and you know, growing up in Texas and all this stuff, right? And she said she was like, my father would go and leave for like months, come back, drop off some money, stay for a couple days, and then leave again to go back to work. And she was convinced, and I'm sitting here looking and I'm like, Grandma, you know this man had another family. And you know what I'm saying? Like, and I'm and how she would explain, listen, yeah, and how how she would explain this, explain it to me, I would sit there and be like, ooh, this man totally had another fucking family. But I think back in those days, like my great-grandmother, she probably knew and just put up with it. Yeah, like you said, Jess, you could do it with divorce back then, and he was coming and bringing money and was paying for his kids. You know what I'm saying? But I am I am convinced if any of my cousins are watching this, hell, if my dad's watching this. Grandma Mary, Grandma Mary's daddy had another family. I don't care what anyone says. But like I'm I am convinced. I am convinced, like, there's just no way. Like, you can't sit there and say, Oh, he left. And it wasn't like my great-grandfather worked on a boat or working on a fishing boat, right? She'd like he would just I'm like, well, where'd he go and work? She's like, I don't know. He would just leave for six months at a time and then come back and then leave for another six months. Crazy.

SPEAKER_04

But he checked in. But he checked in.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he'd he'd he'd go back to crazy and nasty he'd he'd go back to Houston and drop off some money and then leave again.

SPEAKER_04

Right. That's that's the crazy part of it, but that is crazy.

SPEAKER_01

And well, it says colonial and US um early US era, they granted divorce for extreme issues like adultery, while some southern states required individual acts of state legislatures. Um, but in the 18th and 19th century, let's see, South Carolina was a notable exception, completely banning divorce until 1949.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I was talking about like in the 50s and and like the 60s, our era, like our parents' eras and shit.

SPEAKER_01

Still, it's kind of a lot, you know. People, I'm sure. And it was probably with some lack. That doesn't even sound right. But I think but it sounds like to me, I think it's if you had money, you can get divorced. There were strict, there were strict laws. Like I said, women did not even anyways, you could have been your wife. So don't even know there.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, if you were a white male and you had bread and you were from an upper echelon, you could get divorced. But if you were just regular common folk, I don't think they were grant divorce like that. Um, unless it was some and I think back then it was like state by state, right? Jess, it was state by state. So like every state had their own legislation of how they handled how they handled divorce. Yeah. I assume.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And you know, down in the South, like, think about it. It's only as good as who enforces it. Right? So it's like, oh, adultery. All right. Who's enforcing it though? Right?

SPEAKER_01

So, like I said, like I said, these rules are arbitrary. Okay, we're gonna do adultery now. And then, oh, nope, no, now we're gonna, we're gonna include this now. And nope, it's like, get out of here.

SPEAKER_05

But you know what they did though? They did it. What they did was is they just changed it, and now it's in in reconcilable, was it inreconcilable?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, in reconcilable different.

SPEAKER_05

It's like how they changed from uh whites only or no blacks allowed to we have the right to refuse service. That's how you change that language up.

SPEAKER_04

You're right.

SPEAKER_05

You're right, right. You put it in a more quote unquote politically correct way to say it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, meaning that.

SPEAKER_05

Right. Right, right, right. Why do I keep getting the thumbs down when I put my finger up?

SPEAKER_01

California became the first state to pass a no-fault divorce law in 1969 allowing couples to split due to irreconcilable differences. Other states quickly adopted similar laws, with New York becoming the last state to add no fault options in 2010. My God, really? What the fuck were they waiting for? I'm not quite sure. Anyways.

SPEAKER_04

Well, it was a um what would I call it? Like a religious thing, right?

SPEAKER_01

You shouldn't have to have a reason to get a divorce. I'm saying if you don't have a reason to get married, you know, like why that it spilled over and they made it so tough.

SPEAKER_04

It was supposed to be forever in the union and all this kind of stuff. It was a religious thing.

SPEAKER_05

Anyway, you are in a Christian country.

SPEAKER_01

Are we?

SPEAKER_05

Allegedly.

SPEAKER_01

That's we're just we're just speaking those words, actually. And God we trust.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, it says it's but quote unquote, this is a Christian country, so I I see like, you know, like it's it's interesting. Like, you know, this just being raised Catholic. You know how the Catholics are when it comes to divorce. Like, they're like, you're gonna get struck down and like burn in fucking oil.

SPEAKER_01

I was just saying, I grew up Catholic. I grew up going to hell my entire life. Me too. I don't know. I grew up Catholic. I grew up going to hell. Everything I did was a sin, and I'm going directly to hell. So just that's been my experience.

SPEAKER_04

What does that do to the psyche? Uh the young person, especially.

SPEAKER_01

Fucks with you. Why do you see everybody walking around the same?

SPEAKER_05

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Because we're scared.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, no, it fucks with you. It's it's definitely, yeah, especially when you're indoctrinated in that at a very, very young age. Of like, hey, remember, if you do this, you're gonna go to hell. And it's like, guess what? There are no things.

SPEAKER_01

When you're born, you don't know anything. And how do you learn about those things? Somebody tells you. You've never seen it, you've never witnessed it for yourself, you've never nobody can prove it.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Anyway, we've talked about this, Jess. Remember when we did our one-on-one episode, we talked about how uh uh being born with original sin, and then you have to get baptized, and you get baptized as a baby, and I'm like, I didn't have a choice in that. Maybe I didn't want that.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I'm saying. So it's it's everything is so interesting. It's interesting. Um, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So do you think just that the dad, the stepdad, I guess, he's kind of in on this too, or do you think he's in the dark also? Because I think he's in the dark also about this. Like, I don't think he knows, and I think if he finds out, he'll probably be devastated.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, if he is in the dark, like I said, she's killing so many people with one stone. If he's in the dark, he is going to he's gonna come to the light, and so we'll see if their marriage will be able to withstand such a deep betrayal. So, like I said, there are consequences for choices and behavior and withholding information and stuff that can help people develop and close loops and do all that kind of stuff. So, um yeah, but if he knew and participated in the different treatment of this, right, that's shame on both of them. Like, grow the fuck up. Somebody tell the truth. I don't know. So we got performers and academy awards to give out if that's the case.

SPEAKER_05

I just I don't I don't know, from my point of view, I don't even think I would even be able to like trust my mom ever again after something like that. Like, do you trust her? Can you trust her? Because it's now it's like, well, damn, what else have you lied to me to? It seems like you'll lie about trivial shit, right?

SPEAKER_01

Right, right. Trust is lost, but they're forgiven are actions. I don't I don't know. I don't know. What is that? People claim they forgive all the time, but I doubt it.

SPEAKER_04

Um I think you forgive, but you don't unsee, or you don't like you can't forget things.

SPEAKER_01

So um you forgive, but it's still forgive with like a free heart.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think you're like you're changed, um you're changed forever for from um certain stuff, right? Right? And so you can forgive and you can move on, but it's still there and it's gonna surface every blue moon, but you have to be um intentional about what you're doing, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think she can regain trust with her mom, but her mom has to be totally honest, take accountability, right?

SPEAKER_00

And the mom forgive herself.

SPEAKER_01

And then allow the daughter the person, the child's space.

SPEAKER_04

And the mom is a human too, so she needs to be, she needs to forgive herself and kind of go through her own yeah, it's a whole process. Work too, right?

SPEAKER_05

Yes, yeah, yeah. We we said a woman needs to take accountability.

SPEAKER_04

Whoo shit. No such thing, right? Zero.

SPEAKER_01

Everybody needs to take accountability.

SPEAKER_04

I know, but y'all just don't do that though. I'll just say from social media, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

No, y'all be like, well, he made me do this. This is why I act like this.

SPEAKER_04

There's a laundry list of things that made it so for you to act this way, right?

SPEAKER_01

I don't I don't adhere by those things, so anymore. So I wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_05

Good. Interesting. That's a great thing. That's growth. God damn it. All right. Well, uh, to close out, I think we all agree she should or he should say something to the mom, have a conversation. Um wait, real quick though, before we end, conversation with mom first, then conversation with the dad, the f the the the stepdad, or do you do it with both of them in the room? I'm savage enough, I'm doing it with both of them in the room because you can't fuck up now. Right?

SPEAKER_04

Her choice, I think is her choice or what she wants to do. I don't think there's a right or wrong way. I think it's her choice or how she wants to do it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, being that the mom had the baby, I would go directly to the source.

SPEAKER_04

Well, she's been lying for I don't know how old this person is, but she's been lying, or I guess keeping the secret for forever, so why go to her, right?

SPEAKER_01

Because somebody has to say, yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_04

Well, if she already knows from the research she's done with the 23andMe joint, then But you still we just talked about closing the loop.

SPEAKER_01

You gotta address the person in order to close that loop, too.

SPEAKER_05

But do you put some kind of pressure on the mom? Like, do you have the other siblings there like to back you? Like, I'm just saying, like, I'm talking about full court press. You've been lied to your whole adult fucking life. Like, you gotta put the press on, like, you gotta press this motherfucker because I don't want no, no, no, well, well, I don't all this talking in circles and you saying a whole lot of everything about nothing. Fuck all that.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I I feel like she's not she doesn't need to be pressed because if she, if you think she's lying, I would go directly and reach out to the biological dad.

SPEAKER_04

That's why I'm saying maybe you go directly first. That's why I'm saying maybe there's a there's a situation as to where you but maybe he don't even know.

SPEAKER_05

That's the thing, though. The biological dad you didn't already say that.

SPEAKER_01

What you said is to go to the mom. No, I said the dad. Go ahead. Because you close aloop. You might want to go right. Okay, anyways. Okay, okay, it doesn't matter. Maybe I didn't say first, but I said do go to the dad.

SPEAKER_05

Because I'm like, the the the the real dad, he probably don't even know, might not even know he has a fucking kid.

SPEAKER_01

But once he does, I think well, maybe it might jog his memory.

SPEAKER_04

Who she is mama could have could have been a one-night stand. Yeah, he could have been doesn't need his memory jogged. He knows.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe not, though. Like Kel said, maybe it was just a I don't know. But she's gonna, if she wants to move forward now that she has opened this box.

SPEAKER_04

Literally, you like I said.

SPEAKER_01

That boy's on a roll over there. You've got to close every circle so you can, you know, gather as much information as you can.

SPEAKER_05

Hey, I'm just saying they be hiding pregnancies out here. Okay, that that that shit really be going down. So I mean, right, you might not even fucking know. And now he's like, oh shit, I matched with this girl. Um, this is my daughter. Oh fuck, yeah, I knew your mom. You know what Wesling Johnson said, you know what I'm saying? Like, I knew your mama back in the day. She used to hang off on she used to hang on on Wilshire, Normandy. You know what I'm saying? Like, right, never know. But you're right, Kel.

SPEAKER_01

Chances are this guy doesn't even know that he has a child. So then you have to go to the mom.

SPEAKER_04

But all they gotta say is that, yeah, you um Patrice's kid, huh? Okay, well, I yeah, I used to know her around uh 78, right?

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, yeah, and if you're not sure, I would start doing detective work. I would start going around looking at I mean he might not respond. People's pictures, looking to see if I recognize my like uh is there a daughter or this? Let me let me try. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, there's a lot there, a lot there.

SPEAKER_05

Because I mean, if like I said, if the daddy's just like, yeah, look, man, I met your mama at a funkadelic concert and went and kicked it after, and that was it. I never saw her again, and what do you do? Sometimes, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04

You know, that's humans, though. That's humans being human. So that's like if we could get to that late uh level, yeah, it's shock, it's um all of these other things, and it's devastation, but she won't be the first, she won't be the last, right? So it's stuff that happens all the time. So if you can, I know it's easier said than done, but if you can try to put that in perspective that way and continue to move, man.

SPEAKER_05

All right, yeah, all right. Good good stuff, y'all. Uh truly unruly, that's Marcus TrueFont. That's Jessica TrueFont. My name is Kel. Of course, follow us on all things social at truly unruly underscore podcast. And if you want us to answer your emails, email us at truly unrulypodcast at gmail.com. And of course, like and subscribe on your favorite podcasting platform and catch the visual over on YouTube. Till next time, y'all. Peace and much love.