His Mom Crashed Our Wedding Planning & His Sister Hates Me For Absolutely No Reason | Truly Unruly Podcast

A woman writes in saying her future mother-in-law has taken over her wedding — picking venues, guest lists, and colors — while her fiancé just freezes up. On top of that, his sister doesn't like her for no reason. Marcus and Jessica break it all down: why the son is really to blame, how to set boundaries without blowing things up, and what happens when parents can't let go of their kids. The talk goes deep into controlling parents, family loyalty, and knowing your place.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You're listening to Truly Unruly with Marcus and Jessica Truefant. We back. It's another episode of Truly Unruly with Marcus and Jessica TrueFont. My name is Kel. That's Marcus. Yo, yo. That is Jessica.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Yep, lip glass popping. All right.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Yo, y'all. We ain't done this in a minute. We uh I grabbed one, a good one out of the uh the email bag.

unknown 0:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

These are always fun. We get to judge people and all that. What's crazy about this email though is I feel like we've had this similar situation on this show before, but this one's a little more extreme. So let me uh let me read it to you guys. So, hi. I really need your help before I lose my mind and possibly my wedding deposit. I love my fiance. He's kind, supportive, and honestly my best friend. When we first started dating, I knew he was close with his mom. I thought it was sweet. Like, oh, he respects his mother. Fast forward now, and I feel like I'm in a three-person relationship and I didn't agree to that. His mom is involved in everything. I'm talking daily calls, opinions on what we eat, how we spend weekends, and now our wedding. She has turned it into a full-on wedding, she's turned, excuse me, she has turned into a full-on wedding planner that nobody hired. She's picking venues, guest lists, colors. I'm waiting for her to pick out my dress at this point. The worst part, my fiance doesn't know how to tell her to back off. He just kind of freezes and says, that's just how she is. Meanwhile, I'm over here screaming internally. And let me add one more layer. His sister. She does not like me at all. No reason, no explanation, just vibes and not good ones. So now I feel like I'm being judged and pushed out at the same time. I love this man, I really do, but I'm starting to feel like if we don't fix this now, I'm not just marrying him, I'm marrying his whole family and their opinions forever. How do I get him to step up without sounding like I'm attacking his family? And how do I keep my sanity before I end up eloping in secret? Please help me before I turn into a villain. Their excuse me, please help before I turn into the villain in their family group chat. Group chat. Sincerely, future wife, hopefully. I think she's already in the villain in the group chat. I bet you that chat between the mom and his sister is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

She uh is is is the mom like it is the mom like what is what what how is this mom? How does she have this much authority? How does she have this much power? Um there are so many things uh weird and wrong with this scenario. Like the what the mom is doing all of that, and um here's the thing you're talking about eloping, she's still gonna be there when you come back, and as a matter of fact, it's gonna be even worse for you. Let's let's just if she's already like that and controlling things, she's going to lose her shit if you elope. So keep that in mind. And if you don't set hard, uncomfortable boundaries right now, you will regret it. And if your fiance really truly wants what's best for you guys and you, he will separate and put his mother in the appropriate place. And it is not in between their marriage or their engagement or the wedding planner. The fact that she can't even speak up, if you can't speak up to your dude, this is a red flag all the way around. And then again, we question what is love? What, what, what, what is he doing for you that is so lovable if you cannot even speak up.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

She says she couldn't speak up.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Is she telling it? Did she say I'm telling him? She uh and she said, uh, and then when you say you can't say no, that seems like a deep enmeshment with your mother.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Her or the dude? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

And that's that's that's not good. And then the sister not like it's just bad, it just makes things more difficult. You do not want that stepping into a marriage. And if and it's about being held. If your dude is not able to hold you and he is choosing his mother and his sister over you, run.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

I can guarantee that uh that the guy is probably hella uncomfortable, but he needs to make a choice. The longer you straddle the fence and okay, I gotta please them, I gotta like, I gotta make sure they're good over here, then I'm gonna take care of my wife at the same time and do that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

That doesn't happen. That's impossible.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

A recipe for a disaster. So um there's some hard choices that need to be made here, and I think eloping might be the best thing. To shit. Yeah, to uh really to jump out and do that if they want to do that. If that's something that they want to do and they want to do that for them and they want to separate from everybody and do it like that.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

If you want to separate from everybody, yeah, I think that's so. Weigh your consequences, weigh the consequences because there's consequences for eloping, and it's really not about them, but you're but you're you say elope, but the problem is the it's still fair.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

You use that to set the standard, you use that to set the standard, okay. Um, I know you guys think you're involved with this, you guys think you run this over here, but we're gonna go do our thing.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Well, they both have to be involved, and if the husband can't tell his mom no, no, but I'm saying that has to come from the guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Right in his family, because it's his family that's doing um, I guess, uh the shit, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Right. And the sister is gonna respect that this is what I'm saying. We're not moving forward until we have.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Even if she doesn't respect he needs to handle that.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Yeah, you're going to respect, like there, there will be respect.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

If you don't, that's the thing we can't come around, or we can't be around you guys. You um you want to say as family, and you say you respect me as your brother, you need to respect what I got going on.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Right. And that sounds like really good in a perfect scenario, but like she said, he's clearly not able.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

But I'm saying that's what he has to do if he wants to put the fire out and be um about the marriage.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

I don't know, you don't you don't want me because I'm a you're not going, you're just not going to do me any kind of way. I don't care how old you are, I don't care who you are. You will respect me. You don't have to like me, but you will respect me. And if you cannot respect me, we have a problem. Because I'm not gonna go through this life being disrespected for love. Sorry. Um so no, I would I would I would verbally yeah, anyways.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

Do do you guys think, and part of me is I don't know if this is just the the me being a man, but like I feel like he's kind of a punk. He sounds like a guy that was raised in the house full of women, sister and a mom that ran him. You know, and you know, you honor your parents, I get that. You honor your mother, you you respect your mother and your sister, obviously. But I feel like he I I don't want to call him a punk, I g that's a little extreme, but I just feel like that for him was been taken advantage of. Right? Like his mom and his sister know how to get to him. So he just looks at it as, well, this is just how they are, because it's so normal to him. Right, it's normal life. Hey, this actually isn't normal behavior, right? And so now he's a grown up.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

He switched a power dynamic, is what it is. You know, mom and sister really had a hold on this dude, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Right, yeah, and then you bring in the lady that's protection, it's you know, their own personal whatever the fuck they're going through that they're projecting.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Like the dude probably does feel like the protector. All right, I gotta take care of mom, I gotta take care of sis, I gotta do all this stuff. So he's like straddling the fence. There's a way to protect and he's totally doing it wrong. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Agree, agree business. So there is um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Because it's it's almost like it's almost like, yeah, it's almost like they don't respect him in a way where it's like, well, what we say goes anyway, he's gonna listen to us. The boundaries are blurred. It's ownership.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

The boundaries are blurred, they're still operating in like a trio. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

As if the woman's not there, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Yeah, but the thigh and she's allowing it to happen, that's the thing. She has to speak up, she has to make him aware, and then he has to do something, and that's what I'm saying. If he doesn't do it, then I'm gonna do it. Right? Or she should do it, and then when it explodes, then you say, Well, that happens too. I asked you to do, you know, to uh align with me or to at least say something but you good at the time.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Jess as a woman, how do you approach that conversation? Do you do it because you don't want it to be obviously like too aggressive because you don't want it to blow up, right? But at the same time, you want to get your point across and you want to be respected. So how do you approach that? Do you approach them like the mom first, then the sister, or do you approach them both? Which is probably not a good idea because they'll probably gang up on you. But like, what is the best way to approach that? To like be like, all right, look, I don't know what it is that you have against me, but right.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Well, it depends on if they're both acting together, the mom and the sister, maybe talking to them together, but it sounds like the sister is just flat out like not fucking with her. So I would deal with her differently or not even deal with her at all. But um, you know, I would come to the mom like woman to woman, person to person. You know, I am going to marry your son. I understand the relationship and the bond that you guys have, and I really respect it. But I also have an opinion, and this is also my wedding. And I would really appreciate if you would allow it to be that way. I want to include you, but I'm I cannot include you when you are trying to control everything. I don't know. And um then it's you know, then it's up to her. You don't even have to be rude about it. It's like, hey, hey, hey, you're see me over here. See me, see your son, and he is his own, and that's another thing. Parents that think their kids are an extension of them and that they're always their children. They are always their children, but remember, it's a whole entire nother person that literally has their own life, goes through their own journey, and then attaches itself to a whole nother person, family, and starts a whole nother life. So it's like you have to see your son or your daughter for that too. And I think that's the imbalance. It just parents not being able to see their child as an equal is really hard. When your child is an adult, they are your equal, they are your child, but they are your equal.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Or the better version of what you thought you were. That's the same thing. Most of the time, most of the people. It'll be better. And some parents can't handle that, which is right.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

When they see their yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

But what what about these parents that don't like let it go? Right? Like these parents that like even that their their child is an adult and they can't let that go. Is it their own insecurity? Is it them wanting to live vicariously through their kids so they want to just keep control of them because maybe mistakes that they made in life? Like, what is it? Like, I've known of people that had had had grandparents that would say things like, I know girls that I've dated who had grandparents that were like, I was raised by my grandma. My grandma used to tell me, don't ever get married. Men are this, men are da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And you need to stay close to your family, and you need to be blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, is it just rejection?

SPEAKER_00 14:01

That is telling you who to be. That is passing that trauma. Forcing an identity onto you, putting their shit onto you. And it's like, excuse me, your life and your past is yours. Okay. Don't bring that shit on to me. And whatever the mom has been through has caused her to latch, you know, form this type of relationship with her kids and her son. And personally, I don't want to form that type of relationship with my son to where he can't operate autonomously. I it's that's that makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable that I would be planning his wedding and telling, trying to control his why. Like, who? Why? He's his own person. So that's what I'm saying. See them. That he's his uh, excuse me, mom and sister. Some people I don't know. I would tell her, I'm not going anywhere. So we can either have a relationship or we cannot. Because there will be no relationship with dis disrespect, ignoring all of this kind of stuff. We just won't have one, and you will not have one with your brother.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Sometimes people don't try hard enough either, right? I think in reference to the sister that is angry, and the woman says she really doesn't even know why.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Well, you put the ball in their court. If you really love your brother, if you really love, love, love, love, love, love, you will stop hating his wife for no fucking reason. When you really care for somebody, that's how you show you care for them. You release them, you let them go, you let them be.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

But that's what it is. It's just hate for no reason. If there's no clear reason, you're just uncomfortable that your brother is stepping outside of this family dynamic you guys have been living in.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

She's probably mad at the girl, the girl, you know, girls.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Because it's uncomfortable to shake up the norm. Are they gonna be by themselves now? There's scared, there's fear, there's all these other things. Is he um never gonna come back to the house and all these other things? But it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

So what? If you've established the right kind of relationship with him, which they are forcing a bad one where he's never gonna come over, right? Do you see what you're doing?

SPEAKER_02 16:20

But that is not doing things properly and thinking that you're gonna get a different outcome by doing the wrong stuff, by doing it the negative way, though, right? You can't win like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Some people cannot get past themselves, and it literally severs ties. And that's what I was gonna say. It really proves that love is conditional and it's not everlasting because people will fucking cut you off for marrying somebody that you just kind of aren't feeling. So get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

I I think that's uh uh bitter single woman activities or just bitter single person activities. It is because it's like it's that whole, oh, she's taking my son from me, or she's taking my brother from me. What?

SPEAKER_02 17:05

And he's if they don't have anybody on their own or other people. Yeah, they don't got nobody on the chain.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Get a life, get a life, he has his own.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

I don't know if it's necessarily single though, because you're like it's a certain type of personality, a controlling person.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

The personality too.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

There's moms, it's people that's controlling their spouse, and then they want to control their kids. They want to control everything around them.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

When you're emotionally connected to your son in that way, and he navigates his emotions through you because he didn't learn how to do them independently, because clearly she didn't do it independently, and that's hard to detach from, too, because when you tell your mom you're gonna respect my wife, there's some emotion, there's some of that that is you you know uh so um I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

It gets psychotic. Have you guys seen or heard about this movie? It's on Netflix, it's based on the true story, and it's about this this family, and the mom, every time the daughter like would bring a boyfriend home, right? The mom would always like bring him over for dinner, and she's like, Mom, I just met him. We'll invite him over and like bring him over for dinner. And the mom just always grill grills him, like, so what are you what are you gonna do after graduation? What are you gonna do? Do you plan on marrying my wife? What are your intentions with my daughter? Right. And the dude's just like, yo, like, I literally just met your daughter. We're just hanging out. Like, and the daughter's like, Mom, you're so embarrassing, you're so embarrassing, right? Here's where it gets weird, though. So then the daughter ends up dating this boy, and he ends up being like one of the popular guys in the school. So the mom meets up with like her little her little homegirls and like, oh, we heard your daughter is dating, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's so great. He has such a bright future ahead of him. What ends up happening is he ends up breaking up with the daughter. The mom loses it. Oh, yeah. Ending up, the mom hires someone to kill this boy. Wow. Yeah. And the name of the movie's like, I think it's called Don't You Can't Dump My Daughter or You Won't Dump My Daughter or something like that. Look it up on Netflix. It's crazy. I watched it and I'm just like, and it's a true story. And I'm like, There's people in the world that's like this. Like, the mom was so bitter. And the dog.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

She invested in the bo like she was in the relationship. Like, did she like the boy?

unknown 19:24

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

She liked having him around, and so she was so heartbroken. Here's the other thing. Because if the batter doesn't care, then there's something weird with the mom.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

I think I might have seen this, Kale. Is it a black mom?

SPEAKER_01 19:36

No, she's Latina. So she's like, she's like Mexican. So here's the thing the mom would go and see this bruja, a witch or whatever, this psychic, right? She'd go see this bruja, and she would tell, she told the bruja, like, I need, I need something stronger than this. And so like the woman like gives her like a voodoo doll, right? Trying to really like create misfortune for this young boy because he broke up with her daughter.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

And that's nasty work. Wait, wait, wait, it gets worse.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Wait, wait, y'all, it gets worse. So the girl, I guess she lost her virginity to the boy, right? And so the mom believes, and I don't know if this is in like in certain like Hispanic culture or if this is like in like Santa Ria religion culture. I don't know. Voodoo or what. But there's this the theory, the mom believes, well, if you kill the little boy, her daughter gets her virginity back.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

I get the math. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

That's but that's so virginity is transferable?

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Erasable.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Erasable? Erasable. So does she get the a redo. Does she get Mulligan? Does she get the tightening back? Like her charity rig. It doesn't go.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

It doesn't go. Mulligan.

unknown 21:02

So bad.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

So bad. But what? But this they talk, this goes out throughout the movie, and then if then the boy dies, and the daughter goes to his funeral, and she's super sad, and the mom is the mom didn't go to the funeral. And so the mom seems all happy, and the daughter's like, Why do you seem so happy? Like I had his funeral today. She's like, Well, you know, they say if the dies, the girl gets her virginity back, and the daughter's like, You believe this? Like, you really believe that? And the mom's like, Yeah. Ends up the mom gets caught, and the mom ends up going to prison. And just finds out that she's nuts. So to see that there is actually people in the world like this that obsess over their children to the point that they have somebody murdered, they hire a hitman to murder somebody is is it's insanity to me. So it's like for this woman in this email, like I just feel I feel bad for her in a sense, where it's like you're choosing to be there.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

You don't have I I I I'm Praying to God they don't have children because it's like what like then you're really stuck having to deal with these people.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Well, when somebody is saying I'm being disrespected, I'm being erased, I'm not being acknowledged, but I love, but I love my husband, but uh my husband, but I love my boyfriend, or boyfriend, fiance, but I love my fiance, but I love my fiance. It's like you're like, are you convinced like I it it that you've gotta you've gotta you've gotta support the person that you love. It is love is not just feeling, it's action, it's feeling supported, comforted, respected, um autonomous. Um, and I'm not saying, you know, exclude your mother, but there, and my thing as a mother myself, know your fucking limit. No, you read the fucking room, grow up, know your place. Like, what are you doing? I would never do that to my kid. If you feel like you need, like, why do you feel the need? Go get married yourself. Go become a wedding planner if you feel such a fucking desire.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

So I'll say this. Sometimes people can't see themselves, though, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:29

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

It comes with awareness and she's not reading the room, so somebody has to make her aware. And that has to be the son if it's going to really hit home. So that's what it really comes down to. The mom is a mom and she's all in the mom shit, right? She is drowning in that, she can't even see straight. So somebody needs to be.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

The mom is drowning in what? She is sorrow because her son's taking on a wife.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

It could be. I'm not saying it's right, but it's up to the son.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Put it in the pocket, put it in perspective. Go to send her.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

This is not what you should be doing. I'm a grown man, I'm about to get married, and I need you to take a step back. Right. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Not a step forward, but a step back.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

I I I kind of reading this, like I was kind of like scanning through this again.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Get the fuck.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

I blame most of this, if not all of this, on the sun.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Because even if this young lady decided to just go out on her own and be like, hey, like, do you have a problem with me? Like, what's the deal? Like, they're never gonna be sold on it unless he sells them on it. It won't be the same. Because he's the he's the buffer.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Like, he's the one like is the bond. He's the one that is he's the attachment.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Exactly. So I kind of blame him because I'm kind of like, damn, dude, like now you have your fiance questioning if she wants to even fucking marry you and deal with these fucking people. And this could have all been avoided if you just put your fucking big boy pants on and been like, hey, don't fuck with my wife like that.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

It's it's I'm telling you. Sometimes people gotta learn the hard way.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

You know, but yeah. You love your mom, you love your sister, that's fine, but people have to know their place. They need to have the they need to know their role. Because it's like at a point you're overstepping boundaries, and I bet you the mom and the sister, I've because I don't know these people, I assume they're not dumb people. I bet you they fully know that they're stepping over boundaries, and they probably just don't care.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

They don't care because their son is allowing it, because like you guys are saying, they own their son too. They feel a certain level of entitlement of access. They don't want to lose their position and to their son's life, and they don't want the position girl to take that position. And you're a hundred percent right. This should never be, she should never be sending this email. He should have been checking his mom and his sister from the start. I don't, and that's where the lines are blurred between honor thy mother and respect. That's where I said it's it becomes an equal relationship. It should be, it should be mutual, it should be two adults. One just happens to be your child. And when you cannot see it that way, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

I mean, and you know the conversations had to have been had where they're in bed at night and they're allowed to go to bed. Yes. And you know when you have those conversations with your person and you have like some of the most serious ones before bed, some of the conversations you shouldn't be having right before you go to bed because your brain should be like relaxing and be cortisol free, right? But like she's probably got in bed and looked over at this man and said, Why does your sister fucking hate me so much? And he probably can't give her that's why she says no reason, there's no you know, no explanation, and he's probably just been shit. I don't know. And is just left.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

That that makes you paranoid. There's no trust. It can, if she's not already secure, which if I'm assuming if she had a security in herself, she would have been said something. Um probably has though it can make you insecure when you're around people that make you feel like that and like like ignore you and think it's like you start to like it's something right, it's something wrong with me.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

No, Jess, Jess, good point. Here's the thing, Marcus, because she's already the odd man out. So if she says anything, now she looks like she's the drama. And they're gang up on her. Oh, yeah. See, we told you not to marry that girl. We told you not to be with that girl. See, she did she caused nothing but drama.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Because that girl puts boundaries, because that girl respects herself and won't let us disrespect her and disrespect you. Fuck that bitch. She's trying to break a girl fan.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Girls bully, bro. Like, there's a women bully. Like, they do there was an ex there was an experiment they did with kids where there were like, they took a whole bunch of little boys, put them in a room for like a couple days, had another or had a house for a couple days, put did another house with a bunch of little girls, and put them in a house for a couple days. And they said with the boys, it was organized chaos, and it was like on some Lord of the Flies shit where it was like, hey, we'll destroy some shit, but we'll all make they make sure that everyone's gonna eat, everyone's gonna girls organized into a hierarchy medium.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

And the and they said they they were like within hours in the girls' house, instantly they were bullying. And they put picked on one little girl, locked her in a room, was bullying her, didn't want to give her any food. Boys, yeah, it might be chaotic, but yeah, like I said, it's the Lord of the Flies. If you've ever read the Lord of the Flies or seen the movie, it's like Lord of the Flies. It's organized chaos. Girls, completely opposite.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Like an episode.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

It's on Netflix. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You never read that book in school? They made they never made you read Lord of the Flies like in high school? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

I probably did, but didn't.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

But yeah, but yeah, that that's exactly what it is. And so I don't know what it is with women on every level, but y'all be bully the shit out of each other. Well, it only gets worse the older you get.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Well, it's it's natural, it's you form a hierarchy and then it's natural selection. Somebody there's always gotta be somebody at the bottom. There's always gotta be somebody you pick on. It should be fair, but and they're children. What do you expect? Do you think they're have the mental faculties to be like, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 29:43

We're all gonna women more like that when their kids usually grow up and they're that same woman. It just looks a little bit right, yeah. So you're talking about their kids. I don't think that matters because you grow up.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Adult women too, though.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

But we're not locking kids in rooms.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

No, but it just looks different. You're probably talking shit about somebody, or you're doing something that is not right. That's how you five.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

That's how you separate yourself. That's how there's the winners and the losers, the have, the have nots. It's the same. So, um, and we're just nasty. Um, I was just talking about that. Um, I'm not saying all women are disconnected, but we are really harsh. Um, some of the harshest critics of each other. And um it is survival. You guys think it's survival. It is.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

It's like you don't have to be.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

I don't know. It's like if you pick somebody apart that does it, it somehow elevates you in some way, or somehow if you pick out somebody's flaw that they're not gonna see that you're 50 times as flawed.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

So it's like you feel better temporarily, right? I mean, it brings you out in your depression or wherever you're at.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Temporary, I mean, it helps you release. I don't, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Uh, but I think there needs to be a unit more of a unification all the way around.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

And this is why y'all don't run the world. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

This is why we that this is why we don't run the world because we're busy tearing each other up apart. If we could come together, we would run the fuck out of this world. Why do you think this world? I'm not even gonna say anything. Uh, my point is proven every time. That's true. I don't need to say it. Look at look at the look at the world. Look at look at America.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Look at what human being do. I would say look at what human beings do, but it's on um the power structure has been centered on men.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

It's actually developed society, civilizations were created around. That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Right, because we base the society on war. And men want war.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Strongest, the biggest, the most powerful.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Even though as powerful and as flex and macho as you guys were, are there was a five foot one, a hundred and ten pound woman that carried you, kept you alive in their stomach, pushed you out of their fucking vagina, didn't flinch, breastfed you, kept you the fuck alive. And this is how the fuck you pay us back by stripping our fucking rights and putting us beneath you, that is why we will continue to be in chaos until the balance is restored, just like what we're talking about. There has to be a balance. It cannot, it cannot be so lopsided. And like I said, the women who are around here just busting out these fucking children like it's nobody's business. We are not honored in the way that we should be. We are not given the credit, we are not given the opportunity and the power that we possess just in being able to carry life to darm.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

I mean, it's something But you know that we don't want to we're um controlling and we want to make sure that we keep our biggest. You guys get to reap all of the benefits. So we really don't want to hear all that. All we would say is that we helped you guys, we allowed you guys to be able to do that. So you guys should be thankful to us, right? You allowed us because you can't have a baby without a man, is what I'm getting at.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

You cannot have a baby without a man, but you cannot actually exist in this world without a woman.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

I know, but I'm saying this is like how basic men think, though. Like, okay, we're gonna keep the power, this is where we're gonna be. We're gonna keep them in their place because we don't even want to deal with that, right? Because that's um a place of being uncomfortable if we're gonna lose.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

I know, because you're gonna lose pay like you're gonna lose the phone.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

So we can't allow that, we can't have that, and we gotta keep our place. Like I said, you guys are over here.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

I can bench press 500. Um, we can pop children out of our bodies. Well, I I don't know. I think that is a feat in its best. It's not fair.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

But we can't let y'all win, is what the narrative is.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

If you we can pop children out of our bodies, redo our nervous system, hormonal, postpartum, fluctuation, mental changes, all of that, and this is the thing.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

This is the thanks you get.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

This is the thanks you get. The people that are running our country, this is what you thought of your mother.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Yeah. And the answer is yes. That's unfortunate, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Not respected. You're gonna grab her by the puss. That's what you're gonna do to your mother. That's what you want done to your mother.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

You guys seen those real quick. We wrap up with this, though. We were talking about, you know, women giving birth. You guys seen that thing? It's like a robotic womb that's like can like grow a baby in it now.

SPEAKER_00 35:23

I was gonna say, we're getting ready to be able to grow babies without.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

Yeah, we're growing babies. Not surprised, though. It's insane.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Yeah, insane. They can keep babies. They can keep babies. It's incubate like a chick or something like that. The artificial incubator.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Yeah, and like you pretty much can like grow an embryo in it, I believe, until it's like full term.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Why wouldn't you be able to when you think about it? Electricity and all it needs is energy, electricity, the quantum fluid, particles, embiotic fluid, what nutrients?

SPEAKER_02 35:59

I'm not surprised. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

They have the science for how babies are created. It makes sense that they would be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

But do you do you think that babies that come out of situations like that are gonna be like different when it comes to like parental like connection? You know when like you you're you give you gave birth to your children, Jess, and then they see you and they hear your voice for the first time, and there's a certain calmness that the baby knows because they heard that voice when they heard the voice the whole time.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Like, but what about kids that are adopted? What about kids that are in surrogacy? Well, that that's and yeah, well, I guess kids that are adopted, you still hear human involvement, but it still is not they'll be able to simulate that too. I think there's stage in here because there's babies that all of that. Right. Right. And then it's really about once the baby is delivered, the contact, because back to adopted kids, they can form pretty tight bonds with their parents. And there's some parents that don't even bond to their children, some moms that don't bond to their children.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

There's like, um I just think it's weirder when it's a robot, though. Like there's just something that about that to me that is just so unnatural. You know what I'm saying? It's a machine. Like, you don't develop a connection to a machine, or do you?

SPEAKER_00 37:31

But wait a minute. But like, what about what about us? It's like, ah, that's so awkward. It's a robot, it's a machine. Well, what are we operating in? What are we what are we doing? How like so? I don't think it's too far off from things.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Eventually, it will be the only thing.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

If you can recreate babies that way, then that means babies are that means our way of making babies will go away. It rewrites everything. You're right. It rewrites everything that you've known. When, oh, we're here to procreate. Uh, you know, have as many babies as you can. Who the fuck said that? Anyways, a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Um humans are the humans are the sex organs in the machine world.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

So well, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so we're operating in the very so I don't think it's that's AI technology, I it's just proving that we're not that far off. That we're not, that it's somehow something, if you can grow a baby in a robot, then I mean it's good for people that can't have kids, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:40

Like let's say if a woman can't, you know, she she's not able to hold carry a child full term or whatever, and she needs a different option and she doesn't want to go with uh, you know, a surrogate, and you just have this robot thing that you know grows your egg and fertilizer your husband's sperm, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Where do you draw the line?

SPEAKER_00 38:59

And all you need is an egg and some like where do you draw the line, though?

SPEAKER_02 39:05

It's different for people who can't have babies, but what if you just don't want to have a baby and you want to grow your baby? That's what it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

You have the option because, like I was saying, which is not acknowledged, having children takes a toll, it does something to the woman. It just it does, it changes you, and so um, and a lot of people pregnancy is not pleasant. I it that being pregnant, me, my opinion, it was not pleasant. I didn't feel the most beautiful, I didn't feel like, oh yeah, girl, the fuck? I was like, this is are we done yet? And so some but some people just I think some people convince themselves of a lot of things, and that it's just the most spectacular thing to be pregnant. It is, like I said, it is something, but it is not fun, it is taxing. It is fucking taxing what it does to you when you were pregnant. So if if you want to experience it, um so pretty soon we'll have a choice. If you don't want to experience it, I guess. Go visit your baby and watch it develop in this robot.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Hey, you already have designer babies. You heard about that, those designer babies where you can go and kind of pick and choose like what you want. Some people believe that Yao Ming was like the first Chinese designer babies. That's why he was so tall and so big. They believe that it's a I mean it's not true it is, but they yeah, they believe that Yao Ming was created in a fucking labor.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Why, why, with all of the things we are finding out about how things operate and how people move, how could we put something like that past with all of the technologies? Some things are just a well ahead of its time and it doesn't quite come out fully and you know mainstream. So I would not be if it makes sense then them CRISPR babies.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Isn't that what they call it? The CRISPR machine or some shit like a it's called a CRISPR, I think that's what it's called.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

I mean, we're making artificial organs and stuff. You guys, this is we can be we can be recreated and replaced.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

We're on our way to Westworld, right? Yes, you've seen that, right, Kel.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Yeah, that ain't it. I want no parts.

SPEAKER_00 41:42

Oh, that is it, actually.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Yeah, well, this was a good discussion. Uh went to a crazy dark place about reproduction, but it was good conversation. I just hope this young lady figures her situation out in um, I don't know, don't force yourself to be in something that don't look like it's gonna be or get better anytime soon. I'm not saying give out ultimatums, but I mean if you're gonna marry this man, you're gonna have to put up with his mom and his sister. There needs to be some kind of clarity, right? It's you don't gotta like me, but you gotta respect me.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Right. And the more you allow it to go, the deeper, the harder it's going to be to gain that respect and um uh like I keep saying, rebalance, uh rebalance the relationship, and it will cause a lot of unnecessary tension that you don't even you don't want it. If you can avoid it, avoid it.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

Agreed.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Good stuff, agreed, good stuff, y'all. Uh excuse me. Truly unruly, y'all. Uh Marcus Truefon, Jessica TrueFon. If you want us to answer your email like we did for this young desperate lady who I feel oh so bad for, uh email us at truly unrulypodcast at gmail.com. Follow us on all things social at truly unruly underscore podcast. Like, subscribe on your favorite podcasting platform. Catch the visual over on YouTube. All right, y'all. Till next time, peace. Much love.